Yesterday, Urban Outfitters pulled a bloody Kent State sweatshirt from its website. What other products would they have put forward if no one had noticed? Sarah Miller imagines a made-up memo from headquarters.

Date: Sept. 14, 2014

From: Urban Outfitters Headquarters

To: Design Staff

Hi guys, I heard we're going ahead with the Kent State sweatshirt, avec blood, in apparel. Here's some new product design ideas for home/gift/toys/accessories of the same type-aroo.

-Killing Fields eyeglasses. Back in the '70s the Khmer Rouge, who was like the president of this place Cambodia, used to murder anyone with glasses. (I saw some at a museum there and lot of them were pretty cool looking designs.) They'll be kind of John Lennony-ish but more historical and edgy.

-A snow globe of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg being hanged?

-A little model airplane with tiny models of generals throwing tiny models of people out of the open doors? Like didn't they do that to those disappeared people in Argentina back in the '80s? Could be cute.

-A cool floor lamp of Hitler saluting his troops—I think there's a cool pic @1938 Olympics? Did I make that up!?

-Ground Zero paperweights. Like we can get the same cement the Twin Towers was made out of, and find out what kind of paper-weight size pieces broke off it, and model the shapes after that. It will be minimalist and kind of cool.

-A Joseph Stalin necklace caddy. Oh, also, a pool float in the shape of Stalin's head.

-A pool float swastika!

-A jewelry box shaped like the Exxon Valdez.

-A ring caddy, and the base of it is a building in New Orleans, and the prongs are people standing on rooftops.

-A magnetic paper clip holder of the Eschede train derailment in Germany in 1998. It's kinda cool looking because the trains ended up being kinda zigzagged, and their logo is really kinda beautiful.

-Our swear jar does super well, so how about one where you put a quarter in every time you say something racist? Thinking about what we'd actually write on the jar instead of swear jar(?)

-A little wind up toy type thing of that little girl running from the napalm attack in Vietnam. Is that weird? Also, is that real or from a movie—copyright stuff?

Ok, well, let me know which of these you're into—here's to a great Q4 and seriously, you guys are all rock stars.

Sarah Miller is the author of Inside the Mind of Gideon Rayburn and The Other Girl. She lives in Nevada City, CA. Follow her on Twitter @sarahlovescali.

[Image by Jim Cooke]