Everything You Wrote in High School Is Embarrassing Garbage
This month and next, millions of American youths are going to do something that most of us never have to again: Step into a classroom, and write down the most tortured prose that their hormone- and flakka-addled brains can manage. So in the spirit of solidarity and self-loathing, let’s relive those angsty days of our youth—together.
Whether it’s actual, physical paper buried in the back of your closet or data sitting safely on your hard drive, odds are you have something deeply, painfully regrettable that was written in a time when earnestness was all you knew. So why not dig ‘em up, bare your teenage soul below, and thank god we never have to do this ever again.
I’ll start.
Age: 17
Class: 1960s (?)
Title: The Graduate and the American Dream:
Age: 15
Class: English
Title: Huck’s Battle for Morality
Age: 15
Class: English
Title: Gospel Response Journals
Age: 16
Class: Intro to Sociology
Title: None.
And last but not least, a poem.
Age: 16
Class: Poetry: A Survey
Title: Very, very bad.
Now it’s your turn. And then let’s never speak of this again.
