Probably not. But the story that's running in the half-reputable Panamanian newspaper Cronicas is pretty amazing. According to a Panamanian prostitute, The Biebs rolled up on a Panama City nightclub at three A.M. earlier this week, leaving with ten women, including one who later claimed he was "un papacito" in bed.

The story (which is in Spanish) goes like this: According to the unnamed sex worker (she spoke on condition of anonymity) Bieber and the ladies went back to his hotel where the Bieber began kissing the sex worker's "nose and face," while smoking weed with her.

Then things get real weird:

Me decía en inglés que si quería todo su semen, pero yo no entiendo inglés.Mi compañera me estaba traduciendo.

or

He asked me in English if I wanted all of his semen, but I don't understand English. My friend was translating.

Then the two, according, once again, to this anonymous source, had sex... "For an hour."

She spills the beans on some personal Bieber info:

Penis size? "He didn't have a very big or very small one. I believe it was so-so. Medium. I didn't say 'Whoa!'"

What positions? "I did everything with him. He had me in all the positions."

Where did he come? "On my breasts"

At the end of the night, Bieber allegedly gave the sex worker $500 and returned her and her friends to the club. Unfortunately, his would-be lover was unable to attend Bieber's concert the next night.

"No, I couldn't go because I had to work," she told Cronicas. "But I was with him, which is much better than a concert."

While this all adds up to a pretty unbelievable story, it's a totally great one nonetheless. And hey! He's been acting pretty wild lately. That being said, if any members of the independent Panamanian press would like to confirm the story, please drop us a line at tips@gawker.com. Besos!