CNN Expert: If Bob Filner Were Ryan Gosling, There'd Be No Problem

16.84K

Rich Juzwiak

08/22/13 02:20PM

Filed to: Bob Filner

[There was a video here]

This just in: Man says something stupid about women.

While discussing the resignation of San Diego mayor Bob Filner, who's been accused of sexual harassment by 18 women, criminal defense attorney and Deadly Sins host Darren Kavinoky took a more sympathetic approach than his fellow panelist, Faith Jenkins, and host Don Lemon. And anyone with a firm sense of reason, for that matter. In fact, Kavinoky went as far as to say, "One of these accusers said that he grabbed both of her hands and asked for a date. If you took out the words 'Bob Filner' and inserted the word 'Ryan Gosling,' you wouldn't have a problem." And then he repeated the sentiment, again invoking the name of America's penis-having sweetheart.

He brings up a great point, oh wait, no he doesn't. If Ryan Gosling were a serial sex-harassing creep, he'd be less cute. And if he were the charming gentleman he's frequently made out to be (including in Kavinoky's hypothesis), he wouldn't have to grab anybody's hands for they'd already be putty in his.

Also, Filner is not Gosling, so moot point.

Lemon and Jenkins both adequately smacked him down, and the imbalance of the universe was restored.

The following replies are approved. To see additional replies that are pending approval, click Show Pending. Warning: These may contain graphic material.

3

The Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabySteps Rich Juzwiak 08/22/13 02:31PM

At one point Lemon's face looks as if he had sucked on a lemon! :)

That said, I don't know how to say this and not be attacked but the man does have a point. There is a context to harassment. This is not to say that "attractive" people don't and can't harass. I am not saying that AT ALL. Unwanted advances are UNWANTED no matter how "attractive" one is.

In fact, if you look at how this has been portrayed here on Gawker, Filner's ugly puss has been front and center. That said, Filner should understand the context in which his "advances" were made. He ISN'T Ryan Gosling.

19

NewsBunny The Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabySteps 08/22/13 02:47PM

No. This man does not have a point; he's an idiot. I go to work to work. I go out to play to play. I should have to be concerned that my BOSS, and the mayor is the BOSS, is going to be assaulting me when I'm in the office. I don't care if he looks like Gosling or Filner. Any person has the right to a safe workplace, be they male or female.

There is no context to consider. The mayor did not just make unwanted advances; he repeatedly grabbed people he supervised in an attempt to get his rocks off. That's assault. And that is frightening and traumatizing, no matter what the person looks like. What do you do? Am I going to lose my job? Am I going to be demoted? Will this hurt my career if I complain? Did I do anything wrong?

I'm not trying to castigate you, really. But look at this from another perspective.

11

YetAnotherFuckingName The Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabySteps 08/22/13 02:56PM

The point of harassment isn't to fuck somebody. It's to fuck WITH somebody.

Filner could have hit on women outside of work. He could have hired an escort. Choking somebody from behind isn't cute.

You think this guy likes women. No. He deeply hates them.

2

The Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabySteps NewsBunny 08/22/13 03:02PM

He does have a point. A very valid point about the way the world works. I am NOT saying that what Filner did was not harassment. I do think it was harassment. But part of the context of harassment is the perceived attractiveness of the person who is doing the "harassing". That was my takeaway from what he was saying. In fact, (and I don't know if this is true because I have not really been following all of what happened with Filner), taking someones hand (gently) and asking if they want to go out with you, as the talking head suggested Filner did, would be considered romantic in many settings, including the workplace (again, depending upon whether you liked the person or not).

Again, grabbing and head locking and patting on the ass and saying don't wear panties to work and other such shit IS HARASSMENT (unless you were in a relationship with someone and this was how you two rolled).

The Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabySteps YetAnotherFuckingName 08/22/13 03:06PM

Of course I said that the women would be much more accepting of being choked if Filner looked like Gosling (sp?). Yep. That's what I said.

He could have and so could have SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE who have ended up having sex with colleagues (or even later marrying them). In my own department there was one professor who married one of his graduate students. (I wonder if she loved being choked?)

48

Bullshit and Vanity Rich Juzwiak 08/22/13 02:42PM

Ryan Gosling doesn't work that way. Ryan Gosling leans against the wall and stares at you. He says "Hey." He smiles to himself, as if laughing at a joke he just remembered. He stares at you for a while longer. "Do you like..." He trails off, as if lost in a reverie. Finally: "....stuff?" Then all your clothing is on the floor.

2

lecomtedeVaudreuil Bullshit and Vanity 08/22/13 04:03PM

Really? That line works?

5

Kaldricus Bullshit and Vanity 08/22/13 05:15PM

Strange, all my clothes fell off reading this comment...

TheDiscordian lecomtedeVaudreuil 08/22/13 07:10PM

It works for Ryan Gosling. Not so much for Ralph Wiggum. It's all about confidence and eye contact.

lecomtedeVaudreuil TheDiscordian 08/22/13 07:31PM

So I'm gay and I don't find Ryan attractive at all. But I must admit, one day I walked into my local coffeeshop and he was sitting there talking with two other guys (business meeting I think), and I have to admit, the dude is shiny. Like he just has this presence, and he looks like he has this golden aura around him. And I don't even find him attractive. I can only imagine what people who find him attractive think.

1

JinDenver Rich Juzwiak 08/22/13 02:32PM

[Cue everyone screaming at me and calling me a woman hater and whatever other dirty words everyone can dream up.]

Devils advocate here, but while you're absolutely correct that the argument writ large is bogus, in the specific situation of "grabbed both of her hands and asked for a date" I kinda feel like he's got a point — not that he's necessarily correct, but that the point of his argument has at least some merit.

Now, that doesn't make it okay. It doesn't make it right. It doesn't mean the man in question isn't possibly still a scumbag. But it stands to reason that if Ryan Gosling grabs a woman by the hands and asks for a date, it's going to elicit a different reaction than if Bob Filner does. Let's not pretend that anyone (man or woman) treats similar behavior consistently regardless of the actor.

And to reiterate, because I know everyone will insist I mean the direct opposite — I'm not excusing anything Filner did. Just arguing that we do not tolerate similar behavior consistently.

9

Archibald_Cunningham JinDenver 08/22/13 02:44PM

It's a false equivalency. Filner was in a position of power when he committed these acts. That is what harassment is about — power and keeping subordinates subordinate.

Unless Ryan Gosling is pushing his personal assistant for a date, this is simply not the same thing. For example, if this was a movie premiere or a meeting of the Ryan Gosling fan club and he exhibited Filner's behavior, then yes he'd probably get a positive reaction. But that's not because of his looks — it's because he's surrounded by willing partners.

JinDenver Archibald_Cunningham 08/22/13 02:47PM

::sigh::

That's why I said the dude in the video isn't necessarily correct, but his point has merit. That's why I specifically pointed out that my only argument is that in any given situation, we don't tolerate behavior consistently when it originates from dissimilar actors.

5

beautyinthefeast JinDenver 08/22/13 04:37PM

The point is Ryan Gosling isn't her boss. The fact is the boss shouldn't treat his workers like that. They aren't fair game. That, above all else, is the line he is crossing.

JinDenver beautyinthefeast 08/22/13 04:39PM

Please. Go back and read my comment again.

I get what the point is. I get what line he's crossing. But apparently you don't understand my point. I'm just saying that in that specific situation, his argument has merit. We don't tolerate behavior consistently from dissimilar actors. That's all I'm saying.

27

blackintrovert Rich Juzwiak 08/22/13 02:33PM

Right, because women are all sluts who will let any handsome man put their hands on them, without their permission, just because he's hot.

By the way, Ryan Gosling is overrated.

*ducking as I wait for Ryan Gosling fangirls to throw rocks at me*

Dixie_Wrecked blackintrovert 08/22/13 02:49PM

I'm not attracted to Ryan Gosling. His face is long or his nose is too small or something. I can't put my finger on it, but I don't get the hype. I'd still hit it tho.

3

uggh blackintrovert 08/22/13 03:03PM

KarenDelaneyWalker blackintrovert 08/22/13 03:32PM

Nah, you must have us gosling enthusiasts confused with Team Breezy!

FreeSampleThief blackintrovert 08/22/13 05:47PM

Also if you had to work in a close proximity with gosling and he asked you to work without undies to be more productive..... I would be very uncomfy with that and I think he is smexy.