Chipotle: Nothing Tastes as Good as Death Feels
They say Chipotle is fattening, but not if it’s killing you from the inside—how lucky for Mexican food-loving Minnesotans!
For a few glorious weeks, Chipotle was giving local customers a dose of salmonella with their salsa—and lo and behold, they starting experiencing rapid weight loss. See, for example, April Beck, who “was hospitalized twice and developed blood clots in her arms.” The details, via Business Insider:
According to the lawsuit, Beck started developing stomach cramping and diarrhea five days after eating at a Minneapolis Chipotle.
Her symptoms grew worse over the next several days and she was admitted to a hospital on August 23, where she was treated with IV fluid for severe dehydration, according to the lawsuit.
She says she was released from the hospital nine days later on September 1, but had to return the following day because of blood clots in both her arms.
Which is all to say, the pounds were just melting off.
Chipotle has since discontinued the diseased tomatoes, but fear not, eaters—another killer food will certainly reveal itself in due time. Remember: we’re all going to die, might as well do it on a full stomach.
Previously in Killer Foods:
