Brendan Fraser Did His Best in Looney Toons: Back In Action, and Also When Making This Website
Are there too many websites? Of course there are. Far too many, each of them terrible in their own way. Brendan Fraser’s Website, however, is different, because BrendanFraser.com is perfect.
When you visit BrendanFraser.com, as one does, you will be asked to choose between the FLASH ENHANCED HI-BANDWITH SITE and the TRADITIONAL HTML LO-BANDWITH SITE. I cannot recommend the former highly enough. Should you choose the flash-enabled version, this will greet you:
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If this seems outdated, it’s because the site was created sometime in the middle of 2003 and hasn’t received a single design update since. Presumably because it is perfect.
The site itself is a Web 1.0 labyrinth of Brendan Fraser content, the likes of which no one not named Brendan Fraser has ever dreamed of. Whether due to design or buggy code, the site’s links only work sometimes, which means you have to click everywhere.
For instance, click the “Work” tab and you’ll find this:
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A comprehensive, reverse chronological timeline of everything Brendan Fraser has appeared in since 1991—including his brief gig hosting SNL, in 1999. The best part, though, is that each appearance is accompanied by sound. Sometimes it’s music, sometimes it’s animalistic grunting; it all just depends on what Brendan Fraser decided best captured the essence of Brendan Fraser in that particular Brendan Fraser role.
The site also has wisdom to offer. Did you know that Brendan Fraser starred in 2003 film called Looney Tunes: Back in Action? I certainly didn’t. But I do now, thanks to this:
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Under the “Curiosities” tab, I inadvertently clicked on a stray camera and up sprang a slideshow of what was presumably the Looney Tunes actors on set. Is Brendan Fraser in any of the photos? He is not. Is Brendan Fraser behind the camera? It’s impossible to know for sure, but god I hope so. The alternative is too grim to fathom.
If BrendanFraser.com is starting to make you depressed, I’m with you. But don’t worry. I know what might help. Under that same“Curiosities” tab, click the sliver of photo in the upper left for the chance to download your very own Brendan Fraser desktop wallpaper, titled “Accidental Self-Portrait.” I have done this to all of my colleagues’ computers, and I encourage you to do the same. It looks like this:
Though the photo does not, in fact, seem like an “accident” at all, it’s best not to think about it too much. For the mysteries of BrendanFraser.com are as confounding as they are plentiful. Like this, why is this here?
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No one but Brendan Fraser knows for sure. And that’s probably for the best.
