A contemporary American tale of woe: A Seattle Jack in the Box customer flew into a rage on Monday after being told that his third tub of ranch dressing would cost him a quarter. Not his first, nor his second, but his third. Naturally, he lost it.

Police say that in an effort to calm the customer down, Jack in the Box employees offered to comp him all of his ranch, but it was too late, and he went on the warpath. When a senior citizen tried to intervene and smooth the situation, the buttermilk enthusiast slammed the 68-year-old to the ground.

The Associated Press reports the enraged customer ultimately "mumbled something about having a knife" before climbing onto a purple bike and speeding off.

The Seattle Police Department's Twitter feed noted that the suspect was possibly headed toward Hidden Valley. Har har.

[Image via Flickr user Brad K.]