The unmarried teen who goes by Alex From Target (née Alex Lee) spent some time with pen-hating New York Times columnist Nick Bilton in the teen Twitter sensation's hometown of Frisco, Texas last week, resulting in Bilton's penning a 1500-word story on exactly what Alex From Target is and has always been: a cute teen, cool as a cuke.

Bilton reveals in his anthropological study of the 16-year-old soccer-loving high school student what a normal teen from Texas who works an afterschool shift at Target is thinking about and doing after amassing almost 730,000 followers on Twitter.

Big surprise: he's doing mostly the same shit—except he tells Bilton that he can't leave his house:

For starters, Alex says he can barely go outside for fear of being accosted. "I've been in the house the entire time," he said. "I'm kind of scared to go in public."

When he walked into school last Friday, his first day back since becoming #alexfromtarget, students stopped him every few feet to snap selfies. In speech class, he sat with classmates and watched his appearance on "Ellen." And after school, when Alex went to Whataburger with his father, he opened the door and was met with squeals of "Alllleeeeeexxxx!!" and was chased out by cellphone-toting screaming teenage girls.

He also has been put in the stockroom at Target "for a while." Otherwise, though, things are still plain as hell in young Alex's life. He is still with his girlfriend Lindsey (ugh) and like all teens, he gets the occasional death threat. Here's Alex on his love life:

To say Alex is "a sweet kid," as his parents describe him, is an understatement. He's shy and exceedingly polite. He often chuckles to himself after speaking. While he answered most of my questions with short and sheepish replies, when I asked him about his girlfriend, Lindsey, he lit up, telling me that they met in chemistry class after sitting next to each other for a lab assignment.

"I really wanted some Chicken Express, and she was like, 'Hey, we should get some Chicken Express tomorrow.' And we actually ended up getting Chicken Express the next day," he buoyantly told me when describing their first date. (Lindsey is handling this all very well, Alex said.)

Since he skyrocketed to teen fame, Alex From Target has had a starring spot on Ellen and has been offered everything from "advertising deals and sponsorships" and work in "television, movie and modeling." He is currently in communication with a man named John Shahidi, a founder of Shots, "a teenage-centric selfie-sharing app," which doesn't sound weird at all.

But otherwise, Alex From Target—bless his heart—is just trying to take out the trash. Or, rather, forget to do so:

But for now, Alex is going to keep doing what he's always done: Get up for school at 7. Forget to take out the trash. And work at Target at nights and on weekends (though he'll be in the stockroom for a while, he's been told). But at least now he'll be able to tell his millions of followers all about his run-of-the-mill teenage life.

We look forward to seeing more of your face, Alex From Target, which also isn't weird at all.

[Image via Instagram]