School Bans Triangle-Shaped Flapjacks for Fear That Kids Will Poke Their Eyes Out
A school in the UK has banned its cafeteria staff from feeding students triangle-shaped flapjacks after one pupil suffered a "sore eye" during a recent food fight.
Not to be confused with their American counterparts, the British flapjacks are actually baked oat treats better known elsewhere as "granola bars."
"I can confirm that the texture and shape of the flapjacks were reviewed following an isolated accident last week," said a spokesperson for Castle View School in Canvey Island, Essex.
The incident in question involved a boy who had a triangular flapjack hurled at his face by a classmate, resulting in "an injury around his eye" that was treated by the school nurse.
A decision was subsequently made to cease production of all three-sided flapjacks. Henceforth, flapjacks baked on site must be either rectangular or square-shaped.
Of course, this is likely a temporary stopgap rather than a permanent solution.
As The Independent notes, "Critics have pointed out that a square flapjack has more sharp edges than a triangle shaped one."
Not to be out-mocked, the US recently had a baked-goods brouhaha of its own when a school in Baltimore suspended a student for eating his Pop-Tart into the shape of a gun.