Many theories have already been bandied about for why Barack Obama secured his reelection last night: fundamental demographic changes in the voting base, ossified Republican proposals, the creaky inability of Mitt Romney to appear convincingly humanoid. But only one member of the pundit class has been incisive enough to peer more deeply into the true rotten, beating heart of Obama's victory: our national system of liberal zombification centers. (Colleges.)

One answer to "Why do colleges tend to be more left-leaning than the nation as a whole?" might be, "Because there are lots of educated people there." Or you might venture to guess that it's "Because college people smoke more weed than average people and have fewer real world problems so they're pretty copacetic about shit." Fine guesses, sure. Stanley Kurtz, of America's greatest political science journal The National Review, has another theory of How College Works To Destroy This Great Nation:

Just before the election, Jay Nordlinger reported that the proportion of Princeton University faculty or staff donating to the presidential candidates was 155 to 2. Only a visiting engineering lecturer and a janitor gave to Romney. It's an almost entertainingly extreme example of academic bias, but when you think about it, also a deadly-serious explanation for Obama's victory.

A deadly-serious explanation, indeed. This explanation will literally kill you, if you're not careful. A cabal of Princeton University professors got Obama 58.7 million votes, somehow. Are you still alive? Good. Furthermore:

Republicans nowadays tend to write off academia as silly and irrelevant. Meanwhile, our colleges and universities have been quietly churning out left-leaning voters for some time. Not all graduates go along, of course, but many do.

Did you go to college? Did you vote for Obama? You poor, suckered rube. Don't you realize that all you really did was to "go along" with elitist "philosophy" and "ethics" and "economics" and "science" theories propagated by leftist professors who knew what they were talking about? Just led along like lambs to the slaughter (of an Obama reelection).

It's a simple formula, revealed by Stanley Kurtz: more kids going to college= more book learnin'= more leftists= more 29-year-old liberal arts grads living the single life without a care in the world and voting Democratic, instead of being already embittered corporate drones with two kids voting Republican.

Stanley Kurtz is from the Chet Haze school of political science, more or less.

[The Corner. Photo: AP]