How To Improvise A Meal Out Of Whatever Crap You Have In Your Pantry: A Guide For Ill-Prepared Hurricane Shut-Ins
By Albert Burneko
By now you've taken all the standard hurricane precautions-closing the drapes, double-checking to make sure you have an umbrella in your coat closet, duct-taping your pets to the walls, and so on-but you're at a loss when it comes to the most important challenge of a natural disaster: whatto do with the single can of SpaghettiOs you snagged from the barren shelves of your local supermarket because you waited until the last minute to stock up on supplies because you are a derelict. Specifically, you're wondering how to gussy this thing up so that you can both eat and have dignity at the same time, and/or so that you can use the last of your iPhone's dwindling battery power to post photos of your meal to Facebook and make everybody praise you for your ingenuity and twee cuteness.
