The Olympics Finally Have A Purpose: Spice Girls Spotted Practicing for the Closing Ceremonies
Photographs leaked Friday of the Spice Girls rehearsing for the Olympics, finally confirming rumors that the group will perform in London's closing salute to the Illuminati.
Though there's been speculation that the Spice Girls would appear in the show for some time now, London Olympics organizers have remained notoriously secretive about the details of the event, preferring everyone be surprised by how disappointed they are when they watch it.
The group was snapped rehearsing at a Ford car plant in East London. Judging by the pictures, much of the routine consists of the girls clutching nervously to safety railings as they stand on top of bedazzled London taxicabs.
Earlier this year, Mel C. (Trackpants Spice) let organizers know there would be hell to pay if the theme of the London Olympics was not "People of the World: Spice Up Your Life":
I'd be really upset if the Spice Girls weren't included in the Olympics, whether it be the opening or closing ceremonies or any other playlists, because I think we absolutely represented Britain in the ‘90s…I think it would be a real shame if we weren't acknowledged in some way at the Olympics.
Indeed, many people had never heard of Great Britain until 1996, when the Spice Girls' first single Wannabe debuted.
However, in spite of Mel C's unspoken threats, there were rumors that Victoria Beckham (Superfluous Spice) might squash reunion plans by refusing to participate. She certainly looked miserable and alone at a group photocall in June.
While Beckham was easily the least popular member of the group in its heyday, she's since become far and away its most famous, as she continues to become richer simply by virtue of already being rich.
Victoria Beckham is often featured prominently in group lineups; Victoria Adams was normally tucked away in the back, behind a stone column, in a different building.
In response to criticism that she was a no-fun sourpuss, Beckham said in a radio interview:
"I'm so respectful of my past and I love the other girls."
According to closing ceremony musical director David Arnold, Sunday's three and a half show will be based around "30 classic pieces of British music."
Not much else is known about the closing event, making it difficult to predict the specific ways in which it will be terrible.