Garden Grove Medical Center employees thwarted a baby theft this weekend after Grisel Ramierez allegedly tried to walk out with a newborn girl she'd hidden in a tote bag. Ramierez had disguised herself in nurses' scrubs and led the newborn's mother to the bathroom, instructing her to shower before the doctor's examination. Once the mother left the room, Ramirez put the infant in her tote bag and was on her way out when the baby somehow set off an alarm after crossing an "imaginary line," which seems impossible if it was actually imaginary but, you know, technology is crazy these days.

Anyway, the newborn was unharmed and soon reunited with her mother.

And in other awful baby news, police in Orange Park, Florida are searching for a man they said went door-to-door at a motel in an attempt to trade a baby for food. It wasn't immediately clear if the baby was his or not, but police say there were no reported kidnappings in the area.

Obviously, the motel residents were freaked.

Witnesses told the station the man was handling the child like a ragdoll, "slinging" the tot around.

"I was infuriated. That's why I called police to start with. It's sick. I mean, he could have dropped that baby. He was holding it upside down almost like a football," Jennifer Rogillio told News 4 Jacksonville.

"He just told my old lady about it. Wanting some food for the baby. (He) tried to give us the baby for some food," a man identified as Robert said.

Police in Orange Park say the man then went to a McDonald's, where he met a woman before leaving in a cab.

The lessons here, I think, are: make sure your baby has invisible, imaginary alarms all over it, and never go to Florida.

[Image via WFTV.COM]