The Washington Post this morning profiled Mitt Romney's younger years at highfalutin Cranbrook School in Detroit. According to his friends at the time—who like all good high school friends are now throwing him under the bus—our favorite prankster was doing exactly what we've come to expect: making painfully uncomfortable jokes at best; exposing potential personality malignancies at worst.

What are some of Mitties' most memorable pranks? Well, there was the time he traumatized Jon Lauber—a soft spoken student who was presumed to be homosexual—by pinning him down and cutting off his newly bleached hair. By all accounts this was a riot: not only did Lauber have tears in his eyes while he was screaming for help, but most people recall the tackled student as being "terrified." Hi-larious.

Romney's sense of humor struck again when he ushered his nearly blind teacher into a door for laughs, and yelled "Atta girl" in class to closeted gay student Gary Hummel. While many in the Romney camp are quick to qualify the GOP candidate as a "prankster," it is wise to remember that a prankster is just a bully who hasn't personally made you miserable yet.

UPDATE: Mitt Romney doesn't remember the incidents in question, but has vaguely apologized for all the other "dumb...stupid" things he did in high school.

[via Washington Post; Image via Getty]