Psychologists Say to Avoid Make-Up Sex But, Guess What, They Don’t Know Your Life
In a new post on Psychology Today's website, titled "Make-Up Sex Hurts: Why & How to Avoid It," Dr. Seth Meyers does his best to make a case against engaging make-up sex following an argument with a romantic partner.
From this crazy talk, one might assume this is the same Seth Meyers who makes his living as the head comedy writer on Saturday Night Live, but no. This Seth Meyers is a licensed clinical psychologist.
His commentary has been featured in In Touch Weekly.
Meyers argues that make-up sex is "bad news" because it rewards bad behavior. He says that individuals who engage in make-up sex do so not out of a desire for intimacy, but because they want to relish the emotional "high" that comes from making up without putting in any of the legwork.
"Honestly, it's not that different from an addict who needs a hit of cocaine."
Of course, Meyers' logic is flawed because no one feels a high from making up. Highs come from winning arguments or taking a hit of cocaine or having make-up sex. Make-ups are uneasy peaces, brokered only half-trustingly by all parties involved.
Make-up sex, by contrast, is a fun, sexy party for all parties involved.
Meyers suggests that the next time you are tempted to initiate make-up sex after fighting with a partner, you should "sit with those feelings a little longer and make sure you are having sex for the right reason," which, okay, is fine advice. Smart guy. The doctor is in.
Then you realize the scholarly Sherlock Holmes-style pipe Meyers has been so coolly smoking is, in fact, full of crack cocaine, because he says this:
Should you find yourself in the middle of a sexual encounter and suddenly realize that you feel confused, angry or sad, gently pull back and explain to your partner that you want to stop and try again later.
No. No, no. Talk it out before the encounter begins, by all means. Have a chat after the encounter ends. But why put your blinkers on in the middle of the autobahn?
If, Meyers adds, your partner "pushes you to explain in that moment exactly what's going on with you," which, of course they will, because you just gently pulled back in the middle of an amazing make-up sex-ual encounter, WHAT EXACTLY IS GOING ON WITH YOU, he advocates saying the following:
"I'm not sure, but I know that it'll make sense to me a little later."
Time for Real Talk:
There is no way throwing out that mopey, self-indulgent phrase in the middle of a sexual encounter prematurely truncated won't result in an even bigger fight and, eventually, lead to even more make-up sex.
If you're not trying to have make-up sex, that's on you. Don't have it.
If you are , however, in the mood for make-up sex and find yourself in need of a quick way to start a fight, simply follow the advice Dr. Meyers outlines above.
Play on, playas.
