Dinklage vs. Dickage: No, Game of Thrones Will Not Ever Show Gay Sex
[There was a video here]
Warning: Spoilers (if you consider talking about something that aired over 12 hours ago "spoiling it," which I don't, but whatever, it's a free country).
It looks like hope is dead for getting to see any homo buttsex in Game of Thrones. On last night's episode, the utterly edible Renly Baratheon was murdered by the period-blood-esque spirit offspring of his brother, Stannis. So that solves the problem of the imminent bro-on-bro war that was brewing, but creates another one by depriving us of man-on-man swordplay. Renly was the only major gay character, and it's unlikely that his lover Loras has any shot of clearing the path of these dense plots with his cock to create a romantic storyline of his own.
I'm being petty and stupid and fixating on a minor point, but this feels like a real loss (as much as anything can feel like a real loss when you're watching a show set in a fantasy world of gibberish and bureaucracy) considering how dry last night's episode was. This show needs the trash to provide a refuge from scene after scene of people talking about what they're going to do or what's happening elsewhere or what they are avenging in the past. Game of Thrones is the picture of telling and not showing, and I'm having a really hard time getting through this season. "Anyone can be killed," "Fire is power," blah blah blah. So do it then, show, kill anyone with fire now. Only Arya's storyline regularly provides setup and payoff. As in the case of Tyrion's sparkling dialogue and intelligence, this feels like charity on George R. R. Martin's part. But then again, Tyrion's insights and storyline have slowed down considerably, as well.
So we lost major dickage potential this week, and Dinklage did little fluff things up. There were no fart jokes or anything. It was a total wash for what may have been the worst episode of this show yet.