Mitt Romney, who is up by 700 percentage points in New Hampshire at the moment, has dispatched his spawn to hold things down in "The Granite State" while he pretends to care about Iowans for a few days. Bad idea, Mittens. Because of your incompetent sons is spreading Birther talk up there! What is wrong with Matt Romney?

Our candidate Mittens has been in an extremely predictable pickle this last week or so: Everyone wants him to release his tax returns, so as to provide more joke fodder about how rich he is, and also, more seriously, to see first-hand which horrible tax loopholes he and his chums in the rentier class take advantage of. Matt Romney tried to address this to what appears to be a group of like 10 old people in New Hampshire today, and failed:

"He has not said that he will not do it, he has also not said that he will. I think it's a matter of time until that issue comes up because I think everybody has to get a chance to do that. And so I don't know the answer to that, I'm not sure if he knows the answer to that," Matt Romney said.

Well that was a horrible non-answer — father has taught him well! — but just move on to the next topic, okay? Oh, you want to add something:

"He's certainly not afraid of anything, not hiding anything - you know, I heard someone suggest the other day that as soon as Obama releases his grades and birth certificate and sort of a long list of things, then maybe he'd do it."

Brother Tagg immediately jumped in to contain the mess: "That was not my dad saying that." But Matt Romney will probably have to go back to living in his dungeon, now.

[via Patch; Image of Matt Romney with Father Mittens in less complicated times via AP]