Reporter's Quest to Find out 'Who Pooped on the Bank?' Ends on Awkward Note
In this clip, a woman who appears to be an actual news reporter wanders around the Occupy Eureka (California) campsite asking random protesters if they "pooped and peed" on a local bank. Together the reporter and the protesters say the words "poop" and "pee" about 12,000 times—and all for naught, because we never actually find out who pooped and peed on the bank.
After watching this bizarre scene, we have several questions (including existential ones, but we won't go into those right now):
- Is this a real news clip?
- Seriously?
- Has a group of people ever said the words "poop" and "pee" so many times in four minutes?
- Is Channel 3, the reporter's home station, "Eureka's official source for breaking poop and pee news," or does another station own that beat?
- Is walking up to people and asking them if they've pooped on a bank how they teach it to you in J-School?
- Does this reporter moonlight as a day-care worker, and is that why she talks like a three-year-old?
- Is she wearing some kind of holiday sweater, and if so, which holiday does her sweater celebrate?
- Is she the worst reporter ever, or what?
- If prosecuted, will the protester who allegedly attacked the reporter's camera use a "temporary insanity" defense? As in, "I was driven mad by the repeated use of the words 'poop' and 'pee' and couldn't help myself?"
Our favorite part is when the reporter begins to announce that she's going to arrest the alleged camera-attacking protester, then stops herself mid-sentence. Lady, you're not supposed to become the story! At least the camera attack gets her and everyone else to stop talking like they're in preschool.
Update: KIEM Channel 3—"the spirit of the North Coast"—has posted a report on their visit to the Occupy Eureka campsite in which our intrepid reporters discuss their experience trying to interrogate the Occupying poop-and-pee monsters.