The World Is Going to End Tomorrow, Again, Probably
Have you noticed a slight crispness in the atmosphere recently? A chilling edge to the breeze, a dry clarity to the air, a new rattle in the trees? It's fall, right? No! It's actually the looming apocalypse, which comes tomorrow, according to professional rapture-predictor Harold Camping.
Well, "probably" comes tomorrow. Camping, who could not possibly look any more like you expect him to, predicted that the world would end on May 21—and launched a media blitz announcing the date—only to find, as you have likely noticed, that the world kept on turning. Undaunted, the host of Family Radio, now residing in a nursing home, announced that, actually, October 21 is the Rapture.
He's hedging this time, though:
"I do believe we're getting very near the very end," Camping, 90, said during a podcast recorded earlier this month and posted on his Family Radio website. "Oct. 21, that's coming very shortly, that looks like it will be, at this point, it will be the final end of everything."
[...]
On recently recorded podcasts, Camping hedged his Oct. 21 prediction - "Probably there will be no pain suffered by anyone because of their rebellion against God" - but he maintained that, ultimately, the end is nigh.
"I really am beginning to think as I've restudied these matters that there's going to be no big display of any kind," Camping said. "The end is going to come very, very quietly."
Suuure, Harold. Quietly! Like... so quietly maybe no one notices. That being said! In the event that the Rapture does occur and all the good Christians are taken up to Heaven for a guided tour and complimentary tote, Gawker will still be publishing this weekend.