Starbucks Now Calling the Cops on Laptop Hobos
Starbucks' war against loitering laptop hobos has taken a stark new turn, according to anecdotal evidence! We knew that roving Starbucks employees were politely—but firmly!—ordering long-sitters to buy something or get out. But now the pigs are involved.
An alert tipster and Starbucks patron sends the following shocking crime saga that went down yesterday at the Starbucks on 24th St. and 6th Ave. in Manhattan:
Well-dressed guy, sitting by the window at a clean table. Two police came in. The conversation went something like this:
Guy: "They told me to buy a cup of coffee or leave. That's pressure. I'm in Starbucks all the time. This isn't a Mom & Pop store."
Police: "It's a business and you have to buy something."
Guy: "Is this any way to run a business? I'm leaving, but I want your badge numbers."He also said he'd get it publicized—I doubt he will— but since I was sitting so close, I thought I'd add it to the Starbucks crackdown list.
Meanwhile a homeless woman was barking at the napkin dispensers.
Consider it publicized! Starbucks and the Police State, working together to move laptop hobos out the door! And where is our video of this barking homeless woman? Get yourself together, tipsters.
Further true tales of the Starbucks Laptop Hobo War can be sent here. We're all in this together.