Riverdale, the first NYC private school to charge more than $40K per year, has a bit of a PR problem. For one, they charge more than $40K per year. That's enough to make even rich people say "Dayum!" And on top of that, all the parents think they have to hire preposterously expensive "tutors" to help their kids pass. So... why are they paying Riverdale all that money, again?

That's why Riverdale is waging a very polite campaign against these tutors, repeatedly insisting to parents that no, that's ridiculous, we will meet all of your child's needs right here at Riverdale. Would your child like a nice foot massage? Riverdale can arrange that. Even though all the rich parents know that all the other rich parents are dropping thousands upon thousands of dollars on tutors for every freaking class because their kids will be getting into Harvard come hell or high water, thank you very much, and if you want to play cheapskate discount mom by denying young Aidynn a $400 per hour tutor for his/her history class, well, go right ahead, I'm sure Aidynn will enjoy his time at Syracuse, which is really a very fine school, ha.

Plus: tutoring discount! From the NYT:

[Tutoring firm founder Leelila Strogov] said that she started tutoring Riverdale students enrolled in "Constructing America" in 2006, and that the company, which charges $200 to $600 an hour, adopted a revised fee structure because of the number of hours students were logging. (Typically, after the third hour, their fee is reduced by half.)

"This is the only class that kids needed so many hours of tutoring," she said. "The fees were looking ridiculous."

Ugh, Leelila Strogov had so many towering piles of money in her apartment thanks to tutoring Riverdale students in the "Constructing America" class that she really had nowhere to put her stuff, and her cats could barely walk around any more. It was just getting crazy. Please, just pay her less money, okay? She has guests coming over and at this rate she's going to get on A&E's Hoarders: Money Edition.

Meanwhile at public school: it's Hot Dog day in the cafeteria!

[NYT, photo via FB]