High School Girls Have the Right to Upload Lewd Pictures
It's official: High school girls have a constitutionally protected right to post to Facebook pictures of themselves in lingerie toying with phallic lollipops. America is not Saudi Arabia, you know! We are not under Sharia law (yet).
A federal judge in Indiana sided with the ACLU in ruling that a high school principal was wrong to punish two girls, 15 and 16, for posting pictures of slumber parties in which they... well... let's just blockquote:
A fully-clothed M.K. [one of the teens] is sucking on one lollipop while another lollipop is positioned between her legs and a fully-clothed T.V. is pretending to suck on it. During another sleepover, [the other teen] T.V. took a picture of M.K. and another girl pretending to kiss each other... In another, T.V. is shown bent over with M.K. poking the trident between her buttocks. A third picture shows T.V. positioned behind another kneeling girl as if engaging in anal sex. In another picture, M.K. poses with money stuck into her lingerie — stripper-style.
All this happened over the summer totally outside of any school related activities, and yet, after someone ratted them out to the principal, the girls were suspended from all extracurricular activities for a year, including cheerleading and volleyball. Because the healthiest way to come to grips with sexual ideas is definitely alone and in shame rather than with some harmless clowning in full view of your parents and friends.
"The speech in this case doesn't exactly call to mind high-minded civic discourse," wrote the judge. "But then of course a school's well-intentioned but unconstitutional punishment of that speech would be all the more regrettable."
Translation: We know you meant only the best in publicly punishing these girls for being horrible sexual deviants, but that's actually against the law. (Leave it to a 224 year-old document drawn up by old white men to have the most sensible take on 21st century teen girl sexual mores.)