In an announcement serendipitously timed to coincide with the last, gasping vestiges of what once was the American dream, U.S. Interior Secretary Ken Salazar said that the Statue of Liberty will close down until further notice for some desperately needed repairs.

The renovation will cost $27 million, and would block access to the crown, pedestal and museum for up to one year — after which the Mother of Exiles will be more "safe and accessible" to the tired, the poor, the homeless, the huddled masses who have been flocking to her for well over a century. And by 2013, save for a couple dozen former CEOs holed-up in fortified compounds with machine gun turrets, that should describe just about all of us. [NY Post, photo via Shutterstock]