Here Are America's Top Party Schools
When looking at the Princeton Review's annual college rankings, no one (cool) cares about academic ratings or student to faculty ratios, or any of those silly stats. No, all those people care about is which schools have the most kicking ragers in the whole country. Here they are.
Not surprisingly, the top 10 is made up of large state schools, because people don't really go to those colleges for academics. They go there to learn how to do keg stands and meet their future husbands and have a wild time before settling down in the suburb that they first came from in the first place. Why bother actually learning physics when you're just going to be adjusting claims at some shitty insurance company in the end?
This year, Ohio University in Athens, Ohio, captured the top prize. This is the school's 12th appearance on the list, but the first time at number one. What an accomplishment! It's like they finally found the one convenience store near campus that sell them beer underage. Last year's party champs, University of Georgia, is now number two, followed by the University of Mississippi, University of Iowa, and UC Santa Barbara.
The top private institution to crack the list was Cornell. Haha. Just kidding. Those "douchebags" didn't make the list at all. It's really Syracuse, which came in No. 12. The most sober university in the country is Brigham Young University, which was also on the top of the Schools With the Most Blonds That Won't Sleep With You list. Also not on the partying list was Chet Haze's party central Northwestern University. Try harder next time, guys.