You all are proud passengers aboard the Herman Cain Train, yes? It's basically a cake-walk for the Republican presidential candidate, at this point, to win the presidency by 100 percentage points. So now we should only bother ourselves with what he'll do when he's in the Oval Office. And apparently he won't sign any bills longer than three pages.

Via Think Progress:

CAIN: Engage the people. Don't try to pass a 2,700 page bill - and even they didn't read it! You and I didn't have time to read it. We're too busy trying to live - send our kids to school. That's why I am only going to allow small bills - three pages. You'll have time to read that one over the dinner table. What does Herman Cain, President Cain talking about in this particular bill?

We'll concede that President Obama and the Democratic majority spent much of the last Congress producing these nitpicky, unnecessarily long, Rube Goldberg-esque legislative contraptions, which made them harder to sell politically and enforce as policy. But three pages! He's 100% guaranteed to break this pledge within his first month, or maybe even week, in office. Unless he messes around with the font size, margins, line spacing, kerning, and so on. That will get him six weeks.

The only important bill we remember being three pages, by the way, was Hank Paulson's first proposal for TARP in 2008. It was memorable because it was so fucking obnoxious.