OsamaBreak™. Back to the royal wedding for a moment, shall we? Remember Princess Beatrice's ridiculous hat? Sure you do. It was on the fast-track to becoming the next great meme. Cats were jumping out of it, it was lording over Mordor — we were just getting cooking! Now it's all "fake death photo" this and that. (Though kudos to the visionary Photoshopper who dared to collide the two worlds in the mash-up above.)

Philip Treacy — the clearly lunatic milliner who created that beige, inverted-octopus monstrosity — has at last broken his deafening silence. Dr. Frankenstein, what can you tell us about your monster?

"My inspiration was beauty and elegance. It's a 21st century royal wedding. No, they didn't tell me [what they wanted] because I've known them for a long time and I wanted them to look gorgeous and beautiful. Gorgeous and beautiful can be open to interpretation. I thought they looked gorgeous and beautiful. But no one is crying if anyone didn't."

"How a hat makes you feel is what a hat is all about. The head is the most important part of the body to embellish, because it's what you meet."

Funny he should mention that. Shortly after the wedding, the hat escaped, befriending a young farmer's daughter before accidentally drowning her in a lake. It was last seen being chased by torch-wielding villagers across the English countryside. Approach with extreme caution.

[Hollywood Life, image by Twolf]