Last night's round of American Idol "celebrated" the beloved Beatles catalogue. This type of themed episode is usually saved for later in the season, but this year they're making an exception because "the Beatles are, like, really important."

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Not for everybody, though! Some people didn't even know who the Beatles were. They kept proudly saying things like "I've never even sung a Beatles song before," "The BEA-WHO?" and "I'm glad that half the band is dead because I hate them so much!" (If you can't remember that last one, it's because I made it up.) Considering what wide-eyed newbies everyone was to the fab four, they did a pretty good job. I always like when the Beatles get gospel-ized and several contestants did just that. Other contestants, of course, ruined songs that previously seemed unruinable (how can you trash a sweet number like "Here Comes the Sun"?). There weren't a whole lot of standouts, but there was one couple who I'm pretty sure boned either before or after their performance. They sang the George Harrison-penned "Something" and wouldn't stop eye-fucking for the entire performance. Actually, the guy was probably a little more into it, so maybe he was just hoping to bone afterward? I don't know! You decide!

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A handful of people were kicked off after the Beatles round and the remaining contestants were asked to perform a song of their own choosing before the judges decided who would be in the top 24. Most people sang the expected top 40 radio hits, but not contestant Paul McDonald! No, Paul is an artist! He wears a Nudie suit like Gram Parsons and Jeff Tweedy! He's got one of those soft but rough male indie rocker voices that make college girls weak in the knees! Because he's a true original, Artist Paul decided to sing a song that he wrote himself and let's be thankful that he did because that's when his carefully crafted image was smashed into magnificent pieces. The song actually sounded okay- his guitar playing and voice were fine- but then you get to the lyrics. Oh, boy, those lyrics: "She gonna do what she wants to do. Small town girl in a big citay-he-yay. Yes, she's making her move! She got American DREAMS!" They are so terrible, right? Like something a high school student would write for his 11th grade talent contest. And, like with the 17 year-old song writer that I just made up, tons of girls will end up voting for Paul. The rest of us will have to satisfy ourselves with the hopes that we will get to hear more of his delightfully awful songs as he continues on in the competition.