Teen Mom 2: No Tears For The Wicked
It's a shame we must constantly focus our attention on someone so shamelessly unaware of their own vileness but Jenelle's drama, like an annoying cloud made of angst and selfishness, has once again overshadowed the storylines of our other moms.
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Last week, Jenelle woke up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy and showed up hungover to the one day she was supposed to watch her son. This week, after vowing to change and get her life together, she pretty much pulled the same exact stunt by partying the night before, sleeping through her alarm and leaving her mother high and dry with no babysitter. Not only is Jenelle sub-human, she also wants to be Ke$ha. The shocking reveal of Jenelle's childhood lobotomy is going to be a great highlight of the season finale.
You see, the world is against Jenelle. She couldn't manage to save the $30 or $40 it would take to pay her community college tuition while working her summer job and now Barb refuses to deal with the financial aid forms. Let's not get into the fact that her financial aid would be covered if she had custody of her own child. No big deal. We all know nothing is ever Jenelle's fault. Now, after waltzing in the door showing no remorse for her unexplained absence, it is a shock to Jenelle that people would yell at her and criticise her parenting skills! Intolerable cruelness!
Luckily, she has Kieffer, a real winner who took a cooking class that one time (he can cook anything! he is going places!), by her side to console her. "The past is history and the future is a mystery," he coos to the unlovable wretch he's dating. The relative tranquility of this touching scene is shattered when Barb arrives home, amplifies her kooky accent and basically tells her daughter to GTFO because she's "the worst piece of shit mother" she has ever seen. Hold your applause.
Your other teen moms have been up to the following:
Leah is sad because she traded her youth and happiness for twins. Corey doesn't know how to change diapers and is afraid to be alone with his children. Her perm is out of control and she hates her life.
Kailyn continues to complain. She can no longer freeload at Jo's house because his parents can't stand the young couple's inane bickering and kicked the couple out. Jo wants to move to New Jersey but Kailyn refuses, unsure if New Jersey has a Sports Authorities to work at or community colleges to attend.
Chelsea still thinks graduating high school is hard. She doesn't have time for classes but mysteriously does have time to apply 8,000 layers of bronzer and her hollywood bumpit every morning. Her nipple shirt wearing boyfriend, Adam, is now living rent free in the apartment her pushover father pays for after he promised to finally stop cheating on her. Everything is hunky dory.