This Valentine's Day, did you do one of the following?

1. Begrudgingly go to dinner with a platonic friend from work whom also happens to be single even though he has egg-salad breath and just a little white spittle in the corners of his mouth at all times

2. Finally agree to accompany the guy who is repeatedly Facebook poking you to "the kewlest bar in his hood"

3. Attend empowering anti-valentine party only to stand in the corner, quietly dying inside

4. Shop for thoughtful Val Day presents with your happily betrothed best friend, offering advice on whether a hint of tobacco or a hint of leather is best for her man's custom musk

5. Facebook poke your ex-boyfriend repeatedly

6. Read Neruda's Veinte Poemas de Amor y una Canción Desesperada by self at home while consuming a box of chocolates procured at your local gas station

7. Start a blog chronicling your dating life entitled "The Hon That Got Away"

8. Hand wash your sexy panties

9. Google stalk your elementary school crush; peruse his Picasa album chronicling he and his fiancee's recent trip to a sloth farm in Costa Rica

10. Watch everything Hugh Grant has ever been in, including The Lair of the White Worm

Get over yourself. It's time for eHarmony. Click here, sign up, answer your compatibility questionnaire, get expertly matched, and take advantage of the month-long FREE communication event being held right now. You can chat with all of your matches for free. You deserve a better Valentine's Day next year. You really do.