Already sick of that diet you planned for your New Year's resolution? Why not indulge in tonight's Top Chef live blog. It's as yummy as chocolate cake with sprinkles on top—and has zero calories!

Here's what to do, in case you've never joined us before: First, turn on Top Chef, which airs on Bravo at 10 pm Eastern. Then, in the comments section below this post, post witty remarks and observations about the episode while you're watching it. The rest of us will be doing the same. It's like going to a great party full of fun people—but without any regrettable drunken hook-ups at the end of the night.

It's been two weeks since we last Platonically partied together, so I hope everyone had a happy hiatus! To help refresh your memory about what happened during our last live blog, here are a few of the highlights from the evening:

  • Carla delighted commenters in many ways—for example, by continuing to cook despite chopping part of her finger off, by describing her pasta as "undone-te" and by ululating in triumph at the end of the episode. And let me tell you, nobody ululates like Carla!
  • Hunky Tre won $20,000 but, to the disappointment many commenters, did not tear off his shirt and do a half-naked dance of joy.
  • We loved it when Richard Blais called out Jamie for her evasive ways—a moment that commenter cacahuete dubbed "the showdown at the Bravo corral."
  • Commenter bread_and_potatoes provided an apt sign-off to mark Spike's elimination: "Cue the hat montage!" As it happens, the editors didn't provide such a montage, but if they had, it would have been a long one. That guy had more hats than Bartholomew Cubbins.

And as always, you all had many witty comments to share—a few of which I've collected in "a "highlights" post. Don't forget to check out the following selection of things to watch for as we live blog tonight's episode:

  • For the first time in Top Chef history, Tom Colicchio will actually prepare some food during an episode—and I must say it's about time. If he didn't keep wearing that tunic around on this show, I'd have forgotten he was a chef by now.
  • Tom will sing the praises of speed, noting that "it can get you out of a lot of jams during a busy night" in the kitchen. So that's the secret to his success!
  • Someone will utter the phrase "Caucasian dim sum." Let's all drink when that happens!
  • Here's something else to watch for: Let's see how Jamie manages to avoid competing this week. Will she cut herself again? Or hide again? Or cut herself while hiding? Or fling hot soup and scallops at everyone, and then run like hell? I can't wait to find out.

Ok everyone, I'll see you down in the comments. I hope nobody resolved to give up quipping this year!

[Image via Shutterstock]