Radically transparent man of mystery Julian Assange says one of his sexual assault accusers took a "trophy photo" of him lying naked next to her in bed. He says this means she's lying about being raped. Which rape, you ask?

The one with the "worst sex ever" and a broken condom. Not the one where this happened:

She says they had consensual sex but she woke up the next morning to find him having intercourse with her to which she had not consented.

When she asked him if he was wearing anything, he had allegedly said: "I am wearing you."

Julian Assange: "I am wearing you." And here you thought Assange's naked picture was going to be the only thing seared into your mind today. Anyway, Assange says he couldn't have raped first lady because she took a "trophy photo" of him "lying naked in her bed," and also threw him a party. He concludes,

Sweden is the Saudi Arabia of feminism. I fell into a hornets' nest of revolutionary feminism.

"Hornets' nest"! I knew this was going to relate to Stieg Larsson at some point. [Australian, image via AP]