Apparently this happened! It's not who you think it is, either. Also up for investigation today are two singers who are faking a feud and a magazine and a celebrity involved in a real fight.

1. [Warning: This will be insufferable.] "Before you start feeling too sorry for poor, mixed-up, closeted celeb Butter P*ssy and how the babe's scared coming out will affect her and her loved ones' incomes, listen up. Butter's hardly a saint.

Far from it.

Sometime ago, Ms. P*ssy, who's really fabulous at her very celebrated career, came home from a hard day's work and her man happened to be home. But he wasn't alone:

Butter found the partner she genuinely cared for-but whom she also conveniently used (a lot) to help sell her fake heterosexuality to the gullible public-in bed. With company. And it wasn't another chick, either!

Butter's man was in bed with…one of Ms. P*ssy's employee's. How awful! How humiliating! How déclassé!

So, Butter-babe did what any megastar worth her very butch reputation would do: She got a knife and threatened to "cut" the philandering partner. And guess what?

She did! Badly. So much so, the sliced-up dude had to be taken to the hospital-and his recovery took some time.

Now, to make up for things, the cheating dude who got knifed by the always well-coiffed and formidable Butter P*ssy gets regular paychecks, per their postknifing financial arrangement.

And some folks think the guy's sticking around (and getting to enjoy the fancy life), just to help Butter parlay that straight-chick image.

Well, maybe a little-and maybe a little because both players here do still care for each other. But trust, those aren't the emotional ties than bind them.

It's blood. Literally.

AND IT AIN'T: Jada Pinkett-Smith, Dolly Parton, Diane Lane" [E!]

2. "These two singers are always compared to one another in the press. They look like each other, sort of sound the same, and are going for the same target audience. You'd be surprised to know however, that both are perpetuating this public ‘competition' because it boosts the sales of both. " [Buzz Foto]

3. "This actor is scheduled to appear on the cover of a major magazine soon. The photo was planned well in advance, and the magazine shelled out a lot of benjamins for the privilege. But now there's a big old hairy problem. The accompanying article was supposed to be a complete puff piece. However, due to some recent events that our actor couldn't control, the editors have a dilemma. If they don't mention the controversy, they'll appease the actor, and he will continue to favor them when he plugs a project. If they do use the new information (complete with some racy photos), they'll alienate the actor. They'll also face certain legal action by the actor and his singer. But the magazine would definitely sell more copies." [Blind Gossip]