Salma Hayek Was an Illegal Immigrant
Did Salma Hayek just solve the polarized war over immigration? By admitting that she, too, was once an undocumented worker, Salma clearly enunciated the vital role of immigrant workers who happen to have sexy breasts.
Salma told V Magazine Spain that she cares about the plight of undocumented workers because she was once one, too. Fox News Latino translates:
I was an illegal immigrant in the United States. It was for a small period of time, but I still did it.
Those who advocate amnesty say immigrant workers fill jobs that Americans are unwilling or unable to staff. Like Salma's job inspiring the most crippling boners known to man! It's like the brain drain, but we're draining other nations of their quality breasts.
If Salma hadn't broken the law, there would be no singing nurse in Across the Universe, or buxom love interest in Wild, Wild West. And I know nobody—not even the Minutemen—want that. (In all seriousness, though, the Hayek confession reveals not that sexy people should be allowed to immigrate, but that undocumented workers are already part of our national landscape, many of them productive members of society. And hey, some are nice people, too!)
Though I'm dying for more context on Salma's foray into illegality (when? how?) the original article V Magazine Spain interview isn't available online (is it? if anyone is more adroit with the Spanish language press than I am, sound off in the comments) so we're limited to what Fox News Latino translated. They also quote Hayek describing how she "had to endurse the worst time of all in terms of racial discrimination in Hollywood when I was starting out." [Fox News Latina via NYPost]