A lot of bad stuff goes on inside Wal-Marts, but the company will not abide a man pleasuring himself in the toy aisle and wiping his hand on a toy lightsaber. William Tyler Black received a lifetime ban for this.

Clean-up in aisle... for Christssake. We thought the Wal-Mart employee horror stories we heard a couple months ago were bad, but imagine the poor guy or gal who had to clean up the result of William Tyler Black's, uh, issuance. 28-year-old Black was arrested Sept. 18th in Florida for masturbating in the toy aisle to a copy of the Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit edition. And he wiped his hand on a toy lightsaber! (Must have been a Star Trek fan.)

Now The Smoking Gun reports he's been banned for life from Wal-Mart. So he'll just move to New York and jack off onto the sidewalk like a normal pervert.