Sidwell Friends—the elite Washington, D.C., private school that the Obama girls attend—has a terrible football team. And when the Washington City Paper pointed that out, a hilariously entitled barrage of outraged comments from unathletic rich kids ensued.

The "Fighting Quakers" (so named because Sidwell is a Religious Society of Friends school) are winless this season with an overall score of 373-43. The Washington City Paper's Dave McKenna sought this week to figure out why that is, examining lack of interest in the football program on the part of both school administrators and students, a string of injuries that knocked out 10 players in the first two games of the season, and generally awful athletes that inspired their coach to yell, "You gotta play football, not lacrosse!" before one game.

What McKenna failed to understand was that you do not talk to Sidwell Friends students that way! These are the children of presidents, Mr. McKenna, sir. Are we clear? In case we're not, Sidwell students (or, to be fair, people claiming to be Sidwell students) flocked to the story online to point out that while McKenna is a mere salaryman writing squibs for a common newspaper, they will inherit the earth because their parents paid $32,000 a year to keep them away from all the black kids in D.C. public schools:

There's plenty more—77 comments in all so far, including "who do you think you are to talk about my team like this?"—so go get your daily dose of class warfare.