TONIGHT: A lot! We've got the season premieres of Lie to Me and The Real Housewives of Atlanta, plus new episodes of The Event, Mike & Molly, Chase, Hawaii Five-0, DWTS, HIMYM, House, Chuck, Rules of Engagement, and much more!

8:00 PM

90210 Annie and Adrianna learn the truth about Naomi and Mr. Cannon; Dixon, Liam, Navid and Teddy participate in Silver's bachelor auction for cancer awareness; Sasha reappears with surprising news for Dixon, but her timing interrupts his plans with Ivy; and Annie tries to earn fast money to help alleviate Debbie's financial troubles. (CW)
Dancing with the Stars The third week of performances! (ABC)
How I Met Your Mother When Ted turns down Barney's offer for a building-design job, Barney tries to woo him with all of the seduction methods he uses on women; and a lonely and drunk Robin calls Don. (CBS)
House A suicidal children's author (Amy Irving) has a seizure just before trying to kill herself, and House, who's a fan, thinks that the key to both her physical and psychological conditions lies in her latest book. (FOX)
Chuck Villainous nemeses Hugo Panzer ("Stone Cold" Steve Austin) and Heather Chandler (Nicole Richie) return to haunt (and hunt) Chuck and Sarah. The conniving Chandler, however, stirs up Chuck's curiosity when she claims she has information about his mother. (NBC)
Little People, BIg World Matt's micromanaging gets on Amy and Jeremy's last nerve. (TLC)

8:30 PM

Rules of Engagement Audrey gives her rug to Jenn and Adam, and Jeff is upset by the prospect of buying a new rug. So, he tells intimate stories involving the rug, hoping Jenn and Adam will want to give it back. (CBS)

9:00 PM

Gossip Girl A suspicious Nate asks Juliet what she's hiding from him. Elsewhere, Blair plots to put an end to Chuck's current state of bliss; and Dan is once again conflicted about his feelings for both Serena and Vanessa. (CW)
Lie to Me Season 3 premiere: Tim tries to stop a man (Shawn Doyle) bent on revenge from robbing a bank and in the process holds a guilty man accountable for his actions. (FOX)
The Event A new detainee (Clea DuVall) is put into play when the Martinez administration rolls out a new strategy to make Sophia come clean about the detainees' plan. In other events, Vicky and Carter hold an important hostage and Collier's doubts grow deeper. (NBC)
Two and a Half Men Alan moves in with Lyndsey, but he continues his affair with Melissa, whom he meets at Charlie's house. (CBS)
The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 3 kicks off with whispers spreading fast in the wake of Kim's delicate disclosure in a tabloid. Meanwhile, other fast rumors affect NeNe, and Kandi plunges into the dating pool. Phaedra Parks and Cynthia Bailey join the cast this season. (Bravo)

9:30 PM

Mike & Molly Mike gets a bruised ego when he and Molly go on a bowling date. (CBS)
Rob Dydrek's Fantasy Factory Rob hosts a charity event to raise funds for his Sk8 for Life foundation. Attendees include Travis Barker; Pharrell; rapper the Game; and Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa. (MTV)

10:00 PM

Chase After 17 years of living life on the run and under a false identity, a onetime mob big shot (Robert Knepper) goes on a killing spree that harkens back to his notorious gangster heyday. (NBC)
Castle Encoded evidence sparks Castle's imagination during the investigation into a bail bondsman's murder, but Beckett dismisses his wild theories. (ABC)
Hawaii Five-0 A deadly gang war erupts during a high-school football game and Five-0 uncovers a link between the gang and a powerful mainland mob. (CBS)
Thintervention with Jackie Warner Jackie investigates her clients' lack of progress to shed pounds. Later, the clients show their chops during a mixed martial-arts session, and a lie-detector test suggests that some in the group are cheating. (Bravo)
Weeds After way too many incidents of gunplay, the Botwins and Doug seek some downtime at a Montana fair, where Nancy and Shane create a scene in line for the roller coaster, and Andy enters an unusual eating contest. (Showtime)

10:30 PM

The Big C Cathy and Sean hit the road to visit their father (Brian Cox). Along the way, she tells Sean about her cancer diagnosis, which knocks him for a loop. Back at home, underage Adam, under the not-so-watchful eye of his father, has a bit too much to drink and winds up under the weather. (Showtime)

Who's on the Late Night Couches Tonight?

The Daily Show Sam Harris (Comedy Central)
The Colbert Report Eugene Robinson (Comedy Central)
Jimmy Kimmel Live!: Dr. Phil McGraw, Nathan Fillion, Trace Adkins (ABC, Repeat)
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Will Arnett, Dot Marie Jones, a performance from Broadway's "Rock of Ages" (NBC)
Lopez Tonight: Drew Barrymore, Fantasia (TBS, Repeat)
Chelsea Lately Duane "Dog" Chapman, Beth Smith Chapman, Heather McDonald, Moshe Kasher, Josh Wolf (E!)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Morgan Freeman, Josh Lucas, Gayngs (NBC)
Late Show with David Letterman: Bruce Willis, will.i.am with Nicki Minaj (CBS)
Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson: Lauren Graham, Rosanne Cash (CBS)