TONIGHT: Lots of TV! We've got the series premiere of The Big C, the season premiere of Weeds, new episodes of Bachelor Pad, Huge, The Closer, The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Dating in the Dark, and much more!

8:00 PM

Bachelor Pad More The Bachelor/The Bachelorette-meets-Big Brother buffoonery. (ABC)
Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch day of pampering awaits the final six contestants, and Chad takes two women on a winter getaway. (VH1)
Secret Life of the American Teenager Amy's new pals in New York City take her out to a nightclub to celebrate her birthday. (ABC Family)

9:00 PM

The Closer Pope implements a plan to improve the department's public image in the wake of the brutal slaying of a parole-board member who was killed during a phone call with Gabriel. (TNT)
Lie to Me Cal and Zoe (Jennifer Beals) are called to witness the execution of a man (David Marciano) they helped send to death row 17 years before—-and face the possibility that he's innocent. Marciano is joined in the cast by fellow alumni of "The Shield." (FOX)
Huge Chloe and Alistair have separate birthday celebrations that collide and eventually lead to Chloe becoming upset. (ABC Family)

9:30 PM

Rob Dydrek's Fantasy Factory Rob's mom injures her ankle, so he and Drama go to extreme lengths to ensure she's as comfortable as possible. (MTV)

10:00 PM

Weeds The sixth season premieres! (Showtime)
The Real Housewives of New Jersey The gang's sojourn in Italy continues, with Teresa and Joe serving as tour guides and cooking up a feast. Meanwhile, Danielle meets with a PI, because that's what crazy people do. (Bravo)
Dating in the Dark Supermodel, actress and Playboy Playmate Summer Altice is among the contestants. (ABC)
The Hard Times of RJ Berger RJ and Miles try to find dates for the winter formal, but after numerous rejections, RJ decides to ask his best pal Lily. (MTV)

10:30 PM

The Big C In the series opener, suburban Minneapolis wife and schoolteacher Cathy (Laura Linney), who is dying from skin cancer, begins to take charge of her life and live it up a little. (Showtime)
Warren the Ape Warren attends anger-management classes after he destroys a miniature-golf course in a fit of rage. (MTV)

Who's on the Late Night Couches Tonight?

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Emma Thompson (Comedy Central)
The Colbert Report Richard Clarke, John Fetterman (Comedy Central)
Jimmy Kimmel Live!: Hayden Christensen, Criss Angel, Ozzy Osbourne (ABC)
Lopez Tonight: Jason Statham, Aubrey Plaza, Wolfmother (TBS)
Chelsea Lately Kim Raver, Finesse Mitchell, Arden Myrin, Ross Mathews (E!)
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Jason Segel, Jenni "J-Woww" Farley, Enrique Iglesias (NBC, Repeat)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Jada Pinkett Smith, Miranda Cosgrove, Travie McCoy (NBC, Repeat)
Late Show with David Letterman: Steve Carell, Selena Gomez, Sheryl Cro (CBS, Repeat)
Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson: Helena Bonham Carter (CBS, Repeat)