The Website for Rich Kids Who Are Too Stupid to Manage Their Trust Funds
Are you a rich parent with a stupid kid? Fear not! There's a new website to help your spawn understand how filthy rich they really are, and how to manage their trust fund before blowing it in Saint-Tropez.
Let's say Chet, your wonderfully absent minded child, didn't do so well in his econ classes and he's about to take control of his trust fund. You're worried! But there's help on the internet. The site, Tile Financial, is operated by former Bear Stearns and New York Stock Exchange executive Amy Butte and is partially funded by the government bailed-out Citigroup. She's smart and knows money. Butte's target audience? Not so much. On the site's blog, deflation is dumbed down to a camping trip:
Imagine you are camping in a forest and you've made a fire to cook with — if it gets out of control, everything burns up and eventually you'll have a problem on your hands. That's kind of like rapid inflation. But if it burns out, you'll end up cold, hungry, and probably pretty miserable. That's more like deflation, and if there's too much, it can be really hard to get that fire going again.
Noooooo! Just the thought of Chet being stuck in the Adirondacks without food, shelter or even a clean polo shirt is too much to bear. This horror story alone should convince you to get him on board with Tile Financial, and to keep your money where it's always been... with Citigroup. The best part? This wealth of information can be had for a measly annual subscription fee of $150.
And that's not all. Tile Financial is also creating an alert system, so when your kids blow their monthly allowance too early you can get on their case a little, then flow them some more cash. And if you're feeling generous, Tile can even help with (tax deductible) donations to poor people and charities. Watch the video here, and rest easy knowing your dumbass kid won't go broke after you're dead and gone.