Apple is undermining American churches, say two Texas A&M professors, because Steve Jobs is on the way to replacing Jesus. Why would anyone think such a thing? Just look at the parallels.

Apple Inc. was born in humble surroundings just like Jesus. Jobs was struck down and resurrected, just like Jesus. And Apple stores are miraculous clean temples of holiness, just like the many churches devoted to (owned by?) Jesus.

The ever-vigilant Jesus defenders at Fox News seem to think Apple is replacing the American church; in addition to quoting the Texas A&M professors calling Apple "implicit religion," the network points out that even the Pope got a little frightened of the rapid advance of technology in 2006—and that was before the iPhone.

Just wait until Fox finds out that Jobs is half Syrian. Glenn Beck is going to start drawing little iPhones all over that little blackboard of his.

[via FaithCrunch]