Murders Occurring in Unlikely Places
Murders are supposed to take place on dark inner city streets, or out in the woods. They are not supposed to take place in Beverly Hills, or—heaven forbid—in a holy place. Yet this week, they are.
ITEM: Three suspects have been arrested in connection with Tuesday's murder of 21 year-old college student Katsutoshi Takazato at his home in ritzy Beverly Hills. The home was owned by "Fuminori Hayashida, a producer of several movies released in the 1990s." Police haven't released the names of the suspects, but they have released one piece of information that should calm everyone down: the suspects were not from Beverly Hills.
ITEM: Last week in Waterbury, Connecticut, a 19 year-old man took a stroll with a 16 year-old girl on the grounds of deserted and long-dormant Christian theme park Holy Land USA. There, underneath a large cross, he raped and murdered her. Now, some Waterbury residents are wondering whether this spooky weed-choked carcass of a Bible playland is really a great thing to have around, after all. Jesus.
Of course, it takes three incidents to make a trend. As long as no one is murdered at Chuck E. Cheese or in a convent for the remainder of the week, we may be able to chalk this up to simple tragedy.