Don't watch Top Chef alone, like some forgotten side dish. Become a connoisseur of commentary by joining our live blog! Why be a square when you can be a square meal?

If you haven't joined this party before, here's what to do: Turn on Bravo, watch Top Chef (which starts at 9 Eastern), and post comments about what you see below this post. Also: refresh often, and post replies to what others are saying. It's easy! To get an idea of just how it's done, check out this selection of my favorite comments from last week's live blog.

Other high points from our last get-together included these moments:

  • When Angelo said "I basically made love to that duck," we wondered if that meant his duck might become infused with crabs—nd in the process (as commenter Heneage suggested) become a "surf & turf" dish.
  • We decided to drink every time Kenny said "alpha male." At the rate he's going, this rule may turn us all into alcoholics.
  • We had fun coming up with descriptions for guest judge Patrick O'Connell, such as "animatronic Dick van Dyke" (per commenter pterodactyl), "ginger Gene Rayburn" (per Sheryl with an S), "Captain Sportcoat" (per GeorgeFayne) and "Snow Miser" (per GonzoMaz). It's almost a shame he won't be coming back, because it seems like a waste of good nicknames.
  • Although Stephen made what commenter cletar called a "sad, send-me-home salad," it was actually Tim who got the boot, for a dish called something like "Turnip Mussolini." And he probably deserved it—because really, there's nothing worse than fascist turnips.

So what's in store for tonight? Well, I've glanced at the preview clips, and spotted the following things to watch to watch for:

  • In the quickfire, the chefs will have to use wild-animal meats such as boar, crocodile, ostrich, rattlesnake and llama. If I were them, I'd steer clear of the yak: Any meat whose name is a synonym for "puke" can't be a good thing.
  • Ed will tell a story about how he once made "cock and balls soup." Not only is this anecdote amusing, but it also reveals that you can say actually say the phrase "cock and balls" on Bravo.
  • Tonight's guest judge will be Miami chef Michelle Bernstein, who once studied ballet with Alvin Ailey before deciding to become a chef. I'll bet the hardest part of that transition was learning how to eat again.
  • Tamesha will say of Amanda, "I could probably strangle her in a heartbeat." I hope she follows through on that impulse, because a little attempted murder would really help liven things up this season.

OK gang, the entrée has arrived, and it's time to start dishing down in the comments. See you there!

[Image via Adrigu's Flickr]