Nick Swardson claims that the best text you can get begins with, "Dude..." and then proceeds to tell a story of the best text he has ever gotten from a friend about a crazy night of shenanigans.

Jokes.com
Nick Swardson - Best Party Text Ever
comedians.comedycentral.com
Futurama New EpisodesIt's Always Sunny in PhiladelphiaRussell Simmons Stand-Up Comedy