TONIGHT: We've got some premieres as TBS unveils its new cop show Memphis Beat, Food Network debuts Cupcake Wars and ABC rolls out new gameshow Downfall. Plus, it's the episode we've all been dreading of Deadliest Catch.

8:00 PM

Hell's Kitchen The chefs battle it out in a pork challenge. One is eliminated and instantaneously no longer needs all that blood pressure medication. (FOX)
Losing It with Jillian An unemployed man has lost his motivation in life and his two teenage children have followed suit. You know what they need? To be yelled at by an insane woman. (NBC)
Pretty Little Liars Det. Wilden looks for answers as he uses his connection to Hanna and Ashley to his advantage. (ABC FAM)
Wipeout It's the third season premiere of the show starring people who are so desperate to be on TV that they are willing to get kicked around by giant phone foam balls and dropped into a mud bath. (ABC)

9:00 PM

America's Got Talent Apparently there are so many people in America with talent that open auditions are still going on. I feel like I've been making fun of these open auditions for a month. Oh, right, I have. (NBC)
Deadliest Catch The tragedy we all already know about it is about to happen to Capt. Phil Harris. (DSC)
Cupcake Wars This is a show that pits bakers against each other in various cupcake challenges. (FOOD)
Hawthorne Jada Pinkett Smith's terrible show about a nurse is back for its second season. (TNT)
Downfall A brand new game show that combines trivia with near-death experiences. What happens is that contestants answer questions while hanging over the edge of a building and get dropped if they screw up. (ABC)

10:00 PM

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List Kathy judges a toddler pageant. (BRAVO)
Memphis Beat Pilot alert! Jason Lee stars in this show about a cop in Memphis who has an unorthodox style, a boss who isn't a fan and a boozy mother. Sounds like every other basic cable cop show in the world, except set in Memphis, so through a dash of blues into the mix. (TNT)
Real Sports with Bryant Gumble Segments include a chat with Oakland A's pitcher Dallas Braden about his perfect game and a feature about racism in soccer. (HBO)
The Hills Audrina ends things with Ryan, as previously decided in their contracts. (MTV)

Who's on the Late Night Couches Tonight?

The Daily Show: Cameron Diaz (Comedy Central)
The Colbert Report: Gloria Steinem (Comedy Central)
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Seth Rogen, John Henson, Dierks Bentley (ABC)
Lopez Tonight: Helen Mirren, Cedric the Entertainer, Ron Artest (TBS)
Chelsea Lately Mary McCormack, Joe DeRosa, Heather McDonald, Jo Koy (E!)
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Queen Latifah, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, Robert Randolph (NBC)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Salma Hayek, Jeffrey Donovan, Herbie Hancock (NBC)
Late Show with David Letterman: Regis Philbin, Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue (CBS)
Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson: Valerie Bertinelli, Jerry Ferrara (CBS)