Do you think we'd skip a season of Top Chef without hosting a live blog so all our readers can talk shit about the show? Of course not! The action heads to D.C., but you should head right in here.

Happy summer, everyone, and welcome to the premiere episode of the latest season of Top Chef. What's great about the start of a new live blog season is that you don't need to wear a bathing suit. Instead, all you have to do is watch the show (which airs on Bravo) and post comments about it. What could be easier? The live blog, as always, is open to all commenters who wish to join in. But don't join too late! Note that the show airs at 9pm, an hour earlier than it used to!

Because it's the season premiere, we can engage in all our usual first-episode rituals, like inventing drinking-game rules and coining nicknames for the contestants. We can also play our first game of "how stoned is Padma?"—the rules of which I'll post in the comments section for the benefit of those who've never played before or are so stoned themselves they've forgotten how. Since I'm one of the ones who's forgotten how, this will help me too.

Here are a few quick first impressions of the coming season: On the positive side, all the regulars we like will be back — namely judges Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons. In addition, the regulars we don't like apparently will not be back — namely, judge Toby Young, whose lame jokes and often-obnoxious demeanor won't be missed. Replacing him as "permanent guest judge" will be celebrity chef Eric Ripert, who is, by contrast, charming, knowledgeable and likeable. He's the "Anti-Toby," as it were.

On the not-so-positive side, the show's latest locale—Washington, D.C.—doesn't seem promising in terms of supplying interesting guests. The list announced by Bravo for this season includes Buzz Aldrin, Nancy Pelosi, Joe Scarborough, Sen. Mark Warner, and Leon Panetta. I stifled a yawn just typing that. It's enough to make me miss those hokey Vegas magicians from last season!

On the bright side, this season's batch of 17 cheftestants looks like an interesting and talented bunch. I predict that the most memorable character in the group will be John Somerville, an ex-engineer who talks like a cross between Tommy Chong and Carl Sagan, speaks of "allowing the ingredients to sing their own song," and wears his hear in a long, ponytail-shaped dreadlock. This dude defines "eccentric." He also seems quite likeable, so hopefully he'll hang around a while.

Another chef who likely be entertaining is Arnold Myint, a former professional figure skater who owns an eatery called "Suzy Wong's House of Yum" — which has to be one of the best restaurant names I've ever heard. According to Bravo's bio of Myint, he's "a savvy event planner, and has been known to appear as Suzy Wong herself to promote his latest concept." Hopefully we'll meet Arnold's "Suzy" alter-ego this season.

Here are some random facts about a few of this season's other chefs:

  • Kenny Gilbert describes his cuisine as "American regional, Japanese, Thai, Vietnamese, Italian, Middle Eastern, Indian, Native American, Moroccan and African." He's like the United Nations of Chefs!
  • Tiffany Derry worked her way up from frying pancakes at an IHOP to become executive chef at Dallas's acclaimed Go Fish Ocean Club. Expect her to become a sentimental favorite.
  • Alex Reznik describes his approach thusly in his Bravo bio video: "When I cook food, I like to cook delicious food—something that you taste and go, ‘Wow, that's delicious.'" I think Alex may be on to something here. Keep an eye on this guy—he could go far in this competition.

OK, summer campers, it's time to get this season started. I'll see you down in the comments section. Remember, bathing suits are optional!

[Image via Area 404]