This afternoon's Tyra was like the "Cats" of newspaper horoscopes: the audience was divided into their signs, given ugly shirts, and were told that if you want to bang a Libra talk to them about "culture."

But the show went from sad to sadder when a woman genuinely traumatized by infidelity, a car wreck, and medicaion-induced weight-gain tearfully retold her story, only to be given a horo-shpiel about houses. Like, astro-houses.