We know that comments are down. Thanks to Gizmodo's iPhone scoop this morning, our servers have been stretched to the max and we had to temporarily turn comments off.

But let's take the time to talk about good comments and bad comments! One of the best things about Gawker is that we have the smartest, funniest, loyalest, and beautifulest commenterati in the whole wide world. (Just so you know, while comments on individual posts have been turned off for the time being, you can vent on our #Crosstalk tag page in the meantime. Or you can discuss on our Facebook fan page.)

As you know, not everyone can comment on Gawker. It's a (somewhat) exclusive club that you have to audition to be a part of. But once you're in, you're family. And like family, we love you all unconditionally for your many contributions to our little universe. But also like family, sometimes you get on our last nerve. Here are the things that we love and hate in the comments section.

Comments We Love:

  • The Informative: The best kind of comments are the ones that add something to the discussion. The best of the best of these offer up information that the writer might have missed in the post, offer tips for follow-ups, or give us the sort of insider information that only our readers would have. For instance, we write a story about Oprah and a bunch of people who worked for Harpo share some of their personal stories. That's the kind of stuff you don't find in a newspaper or a magazine, and it makes the story even better.
  • The Hilarious: You guys are some funny motherfuckers. Whether it's adding your two cents on an open caption, or making the jokes that we either didn't have room for or couldn't dream up ourselves, the best way to get a star—and to earn our eternal gratitude—is to be funny. Even if you're disagreeing with us, a little LOL goes a long way.
  • The Well-Constructed Argument: While we expect comments to be (reasonably) civil, we certainly don't want you to always agree with us. In fact, calling us out on our mistakes and shortcomings is why we have commenters. The best way to do this is with a cogent argument. If you don't like our list of the "10 Stupidest People in Politics," offer some replacement nominees of your own. If you think that Kelly Bensimon deserves defending on a Real Housewives recap, by all means defend her, just have some damn good points to bolster your argument. If you think our ramblings merit debate, feel free to debate. Just make sure you're adding to the conversation and not simply bitching. Which brings us too...

Comments We Hate:

  • The Glib Retort: There is no worse comment than "This list sucks," or "You are stupid," or "You are so completely wrong, you wouldn't know what's right if it peed on your leg," or, the worst, "You are an asshole." Like we said above, we invite you to tell us when you think we're wrong, but don't just tell us we're wrong and make a bitchy comment about us. Tell us why we're wrong. Throwing stones from the other side of a computer is easy.
  • The Obvious Joke: Every day in the blind items someone will answer "Which celebutante is a raging coke head?" with the comment, "1. All of them." Guess what? This is not funny. And not only is it not funny, it's also not original. Thousands of people have made this joke before and it wasn't funny then. If you can't think up something more creative, just shut up. The same thing goes for people who comment on a post about a TV show with "This show is still on?" Yes, it is. If it wasn't, we would have mentioned it. Or we wouldn't have written the post in the first place. These sort of comments aren't funny or original. They're the commenting equivalents of saying "That's what she said."
  • The Copy Edit: Yes, we make mistakes (especially me) and we're grateful you catch them. But do us the favor of emailing us and letting us know rather than leaving some bitchy red-penned reminder in the comments. It will save us the embarrassment of a public shaming. And it will spare you from looking like a dumbass when we correct the typo and then no one knows what the hell your comment was all about.

That's all we got for today. And we can't wait to have you all back—the good, the bad, but not the ugly.

[Image via F1uffster's Flickr]