Treegasm, a once in a lifetime mating ritual observed on last night's Ugly Americans, caused the deciduous denizens of New York ("treetures", if you're arboreal), to blossom sexually into boastful douchebags modeled after that Don Juan of reality television, Mystery.

While the leafy population got wood, zombie roommate Randall lost his in the most miserable of his myriad sexual mistakes to date. The search for his missing member consumed the undead dude, whose cock codependency came to a head (zing!) as he wandered a city of phallic phantoms lost and lonely.

Eventually, everyone achieved their release. Satan's spawn evolved to her next level of Botticelian babehood, the peacocking treeture realized the error of his ways to unite with his intended, and Randall's penis returned to its master. The couplings provided chances to show fornication of sorts on network TV: the tree spent its sap-load all over everyone's face, and the Randall kissed and made up with his long lost dong. Suggested cannibalistic zombie auto-fellatio ahoy!