What, you ask, is it like to be Sandra Bullock? Here's a video from her first public outing since Jesse James' affair, when she drove to her money manager's house on Wednesday. Warning: Camera flashes may induce epileptic seizure.

They resemble a herd of wide-eyed goldfish jetting to the surface of the water right after you dump a heap of food flakes in their aquarium. If I were a paparazzo, I'd wear a football helmet and pads. Or underwear, at least. Here's a photographer who forgot his and ends up mooning everyone else's cameras.

Maybe it's a strategy: By inserting his naked rear into everyone else's pictures, he'll have a monopoly on butt-free Sandra Bullock pictures. Unlike plumber butt, paparazzo butt serves a purpose.