Today, ace culturalist Doree Shafrir looked into how the Nazi Tattoo Mistress story came to be, and it sparked a lively debate among you (and Jezebel) commenters. One of you imagined how this would have read as a blind item.

From stew:

We probably all had this story months ago but didn't know it because it came from Enty and we all had migraines halfway through. ("What C-list hubby with A-list name recognition that often gets confused with a B-list outlaw and who was on that C-list show with that B-lister, C-lister and the D-list guy with the A-list name cheated on his wife, the A-list one with the B-list past, not the F-list one he divorced after she did those C-list X-rated flicks, with a Y-list skank with DD cups??")

A commenter then encouraged him her to do it in the style of E!'s very own melted Hedda Hopper, Ted Casablancas. And he did!

Here's how Ted would have done it:

Winksy Whitelady better watch out, even if some Homebound Hatties do call her America's ding dang darling! Her oh-so-hot hubby has been doing the El Lay in El Lay. Kissy-kissy-mwah it ain't. It's more like a trip down Ay One Ay, Slutskank Avenue! Plasticky Von FakeTitula isn't willing to let this man go, though he's been groping HER juicy man-goes during frequent trips to the orifice. Will Winksy let this take her to D-town, or is it all water under the proverbial reconciliation bridge? Only her prenuptialist knows for sure!

And it ain't: Your mom, Charo, Queen Elizabeth