What Haughty Peon Dared Force Young Sulzberger to Investigate Urine?

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Hamilton Nolan

03/22/10 08:17AM

Filed to: Sulzbergheir

New York Times crown prince A "to the" G Sulzberger has triumphed in his most demeaning test thus far: writing an entire story about bathroom breaks. You don't have to take this, AG! Put those editors in their place! [Previously]

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raincoaster Hamilton Nolan 03/22/10 08:40AM

I just read the story. Wow. If it were anyone other than the heir to the newspaper, I'd have to ask if he was paid by the word.

They aren't bad words, there are just entirely too many of them.

Glib and Bitchy raincoaster 03/22/10 08:46AM

@raincoaster: He took a stream of consciousness approach.

(Hey, if Hamno can say peon, and if Punk'd can write about a standing appointment I can go there.)

BookishLookish Glib and Bitchy 03/22/10 09:12AM

@Glib and Bitchy: Tryna Joseph Mitchell it up a bit. The irksome nonsense herewith that I cannot stand, the typical Sulzberger-y "we're Jewish but we're not really Jewish" little dance he did, saying the diamond merchant's from Belgium, then wound up in Cuba, then came here.

raincoaster Glib and Bitchy 03/22/10 09:12AM

@Glib and Bitchy: And bravo to you for doing so. The standard was set.

Glib and Bitchy raincoaster 03/22/10 09:14AM

@raincoaster: An American Standard, perhaps?

anonymousryan Hamilton Nolan 03/22/10 08:55AM

Michael Pollak contributed reporting.

AG: Hey, Pollak, go find out why a Jew is running that newsstand!

BookishLookish anonymousryan 03/22/10 08:57AM

@anonymousryan: I was going to say, why the hell was additional reporting needed? Or did Michael pitch the story but A to the G said, "Nah, I want that one!"

Pee, it'll do strange things to a man.

sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit) Hamilton Nolan 03/22/10 09:14AM

Wow, he looks exactly the same as he did in seventh grade. I wonder if he still smells like smugness.

BadUncle sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit) 03/22/10 09:15AM

@sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit): Isn't that the smell of ball-sweat?

sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit) BadUncle 03/22/10 09:22AM

@BadUncle: Yes, but all twelve-year-old dudes smell that way. He had an extra special odor.

RappingTomato Hamilton Nolan 03/22/10 09:28AM

That's my local newsstand! I'm kinda excited. I'll report back if I take a shift for Syed.